Ask Deepak: Why do we crave acceptance?

Dr Chopra, I am thoroughly enjoying your stress free application, thank you. It’s especially opening my eyes to my ego. I feel far less stress when I focus on my true goal and not what people are thinking of me. My question is why do you think I, and people like me, crave others people’s acceptance? I have a wonderful loving family and have enjoyed a pretty trouble-free childhood. Yet I constantly analyze what I say and do to see how it was perceived by others. It can be suffocating. Now I am putting effort into letting go of these thoughts and concentrating on good intentions – it is bliss. For example I had a big meeting the other day that I was leading, where I would normally be incredibly nervous and self-conscious. Instead I was calm, in the present moment and focusing on the positive outcome of the meeting – with no ego desire to impress, just to get the job done.

Just watch yourself without judging yourself and slowly the ego will walk away

New app for Android Phones: Authentic Yoga with Deepak Chopra featuring Tara Stiles

Ask Deepak: Having trouble meditating and staying on task

A user asks: Whenever I tried to meditate repeating a mantra in silence initiated by my yoga teacher, I have found that the words contained in the mantra disturbs my search for calmness. I often find myself thinking about only repeating the mantra and opening my eyes after sometime with no relief whatsoever. Is it possible and is it right to just keep my eyes closed and slowly slip into quietness from within, shortly after listening to all the humdrum around me? There is always a feeling of dissatisfaction at the end f the day no matter how fast I race along with the time everyday to finish my daily chores. Please help me by highlighting on the above issue.

Deepak’s response: Meditation is much more than repeating a mantra. When one is properly instructed in how to meditate, guidance is provided on how to deal with other thoughts and feelings including thoughts about the mantra and the urge to open one’s eyes.If your yoga teacher has given you general instruction in these matters and you need additional assistance, then you should contact him or her to get clarification. If your yoga teacher has not given you formal instruction, but only told you to say a mantra, then you should seek out a qualified meditation teacher and get the full instruction that you need to meditate correctly.

Deepak Chopra regularly answers questions from mobile app users.  You can always submit a question to Deepak through the “Ask Deepak” function of the Deepak Chopra Mobile Applications: Authentic Yoga for the iPad, Authentic Yoga for the iPod/iPhone, Deepak Chopra Stress Free, and Daily Gift from Deepak Chopra.

Ask Deepak: I’m struggling with my ego – suggestions?

I’ve been of the belief for some time that a great goal would be to eliminate the influence of the ego. One sentence you wrote in either “The Book of Secrets” or “Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire” (I read them back to back) had such a profound effect I must share it. I decided to have an inner dialogue with my ego. It appeared as a fierce dragon until I began to thank it for keeping me alive during a painful childhood. It is my understanding that we must be within our body to become enlightened(Is this true?) so I felt grateful for its help, even though it became a major problem as I grew to adulthood. The dragon began to sob and said, “I’m so exhausted!” I asked if it would like a hug and it sobbed harder as it bent to offer its head. I asked it if we could work together and assured it that by relinquishing control to our High Self, we could both benefit. The dragon agreed. At that moment I was so filled with love I felt decades of anger evaporate. What is most astonishing is that I’ve had a knot of anxiety nearly all my life (60 years) and it disappeared.This happened a few days ago and I feel different. I now wonder if the ego has never been the problem. If we choose to experience physical reality, it’s necessary. But if it becomes overstressed it begins to turn on itself. I developed Grave’s Disease years ago. Could this be directly related to not following the will of my higher self? I think I know the answer already but while I’m here I would like to express my gratitude to you for sharing your years of study, dedication and spiritual development.

Deepak Responds:

That was a beautiful breakthrough experience you had. I would agree with you that the ego itself is not the problem as much as it is a misappropriation of selfhood by the ego that causes the problem. When the ego believes that it is your true self, it then feels threatened by others and the world. It reacts to this fear with a desire to control, with anger and a need to be right. That is very exhausting work because life cannot be controlled or dominated by our limited will.I can’t say with any certainty that your diagnosis of Grave’s disease is directly related to your prior state of spiritual imbalance, but the inner disconnection certainly didn’t help. It’s enough to know that releasing yourself from this intense illusion will be a powerful component to your healing process.

Ask Deepak: Does True Identity Change?

A user asks: Does one’s true identity evolve or change in a lifetime? If so what factors precipitate the change?

Deepak responds: Our identity evolves in the direction of greater creativity and universality. If we pay attention to love, reflective self inquiry, meditation, selfless service we move from ordinary consciousness to soul consciousness, cosmic consciousness, divine consciousness and ultimately enlightenment.

Deepak Chopra regularly answers questions from mobile app users.  You can always submit a question to Deepak through the “Ask Deepak” function of the Deepak Chopra Mobile Applications: Authentic Yoga for the iPad, Authentic Yoga for the iPod/iPhone, Deepak Chopra Stress Free, and Daily Gift from Deepak Chopra.